Chapter  8

Deciding whether to keep trying to work out a marriage or pursue a divorce is a deeply personal decision that depends on individual circumstances. I can provide you with some perspectives from both a scared and secular point of view to help you consider different aspects of the situation.deciding whether to work through difficulties in marriage is complex decision. its important to know that every situation is unique. i will love us to deal with this issue from the sacred and scared perspective all through to the secular aspect . here i want to provide us with a few insights .

From the Sacred Perspective:

From a sacred or spiritual perspective, many religious traditions value the sanctity of marriage and emphasize the importance of commitment and working through challenges . These perspectives often encourage couples to explore  all possible avenues for reconcilliation before considering divorce. They may emphasize forgiveness understanding , communication , and seeking professional help to heal and strengthen the relationship.

However , it’s essential to balance these perspectives with your own well-being and the well-being of any children involved. Sometimes divorce may be the best option if the marriage has become toxic , abusive , or irreparable despite efforts to reconcile . It’s crucial to patronize your safety , happiness, and emotional health in such situations.

Before Anything Engaged OR Married Couples Should Reflect On:

  1. Are you and your Partner Willing to invest the necessary time , effort , and commitmentto work on the relationship?
  2. Have you Explored various forms of professional help, such as couples therapy or counselling, to address the underlying issues?
  3. Are there any patterns of abuse ,addiction, or other harmful behaviours that may be endangering you or your children?
  4. How would your decision impact your spiritual beliefs and your connection to your religious community?Remeber that divorce is a significant life decision with long-lasting consequences“Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets” (The church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints, 1995, para.8).

From a scared perspective:

Fear of the unknown: Divorce can be intimidating because it involves significant changes in many aspects of life, such as living arrangements, financial stability, and social dynamics. Fear of these unknowns can make the decision to divorce daunting.

Emotional turmoil: Divorce often involves emotional distress for both partners and potentially impacts other family members, particularly children. It’s natural to feel scared about the emotional toll it may take on everyone involved.

Hope for reconciliation: There may be a lingering hope that the issues in the marriage can be resolved and that the relationship can be salvaged. This hope can sometimes motivate individuals to keep trying to work things out, even when faced with difficulties.

From a secular perspective:

Personal happiness and well-being: It’s important to prioritize your own happiness and well-being. If the marriage is causing you significant unhappiness, distress, or affecting your mental and emotional health, divorce may be a valid consideration.

Communication and efforts to reconcile: Open and honest communication is crucial in any relationship. If you have made sincere efforts to address the issues in your marriage, sought therapy or counseling, and find that there is a lack of progress or willingness to work on the relationship from both sides, divorce may be a viable option.

Long-term compatibility: Assessing long-term compatibility is essential. If the fundamental values, goals, or life paths of you and your partner are no longer aligned and cannot be reconciled, divorce might be the most reasonable choice to ensure personal growth and fulfillment.This is one reason many tend to go down this road seeing divorce is the only solution to their non compactibility theory. A lot of people that got married and living together turns out becoming intimate strangers.

Ultimately, the decision to keep trying to work things out or pursue a divorce should be based on a thorough examination of your unique circumstances, values, and priorities. It may be helpful to seek guidance from a therapist, counselor, or trusted individuals who can provide support and assist you in navigating this challenging decision-making process.


  1. Have you honestly evaluated your own feelings , desires , and needs in the relationship?
  2. What are those things in your own opinion that could lead to divorce in a relationship?
  3. Making yourself a point of reference what would you advice couples going through divorce challenges to consider ?


Similar Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *