Chapter 7
Therefore a man should leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed.
Your partner is God’s gift to help you see your anger, impatience, addictions, complaining, bad habits, and so on. Your spouse will expose things about your character. If you are just in the marriage for your benefit, you will quickly get disappointed with that and change your spouse instead of changing your character.
Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ” ( The church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints, 1995, para. 7).
While warm and happy marriages are certainly desirable, it’s important to approach the topic with a balanced perspective. Here are some cold, hard facts to consider when it comes to marriage:
Communication is key: One of the most crucial factors in a successful marriage is effective communication. Couples who communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully tend to have stronger relationships. Poor communication can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and long-term relationship problems.Good communication is an important part of all relationships and is an essential part of any healthy partnership. All relationships have ups and downs, but a healthy communication style can make it easier to deal with conflict and build a stronger and healthier partnership.
What are the keys to effective communication? Well, research on what makes marriage work shows that happy and healthy couples have a ratio of 5:1 positive to negative behaviors in their relationship.1This means there are five times as many positive interactions between happy couples (i.e., listening, validating the other person, using soft words, expressing appreciation, affirmation, physical affection, compliments, etc.) as there are negative (i.e., raising one’s voice, stating a complaint, or expressing one’s anger).
It takes effort and commitment: A strong and happy marriage requires effort and commitment from both partners. Building a life together involves compromises, sacrifices, and continuous work to maintain a healthy relationship. It’s not always easy, and it requires ongoing effort from both individuals. most couples hardly have time for themselves unlike when they started the relationship it was diffrent.Couples often spend very little time in meaningful conversation throughout the week. To change this, turn off the technology and make it a point to spend 20-30 minutes a day catching up with each other.
Use more “I” statements and less “You” statements.
This decreases the chances of your spouse feeling like they need to defend themselves. For example, “I wish you would acknowledge more often how much work I do at home to take care of you and the children.”
Compatibility matters: While love is an important foundation for a marriage, compatibility is also crucial. Shared values, goals, interests, and lifestyles can contribute to a successful long-term relationship. It’s essential to consider compatibility factors before committing to marriage.For a marriage to succeed, both spouses must be able to hear each other’s complaints without getting defensive. This is much harder than learning how to express negative feelings effectively.
Finances can be a challenge: Financial issues can place strain on a marriage. Disagreements about money, debt, and financial goals can lead to stress and conflicts. It’s important for couples to have open discussions about money management, budgeting, and long-term financial plans.Most people are quicker to express negative feelings than positive ones. It is vital to the health of your marriage that you affirm your spouse. Positive feelings such as appreciation, affection, respect, admiration, and approval are like making deposits into your love account. You should have five positive deposits for every one negative. If your compliments exceed your complaints, your spouse will pay attention to your grievances. If your complaints exceed your compliments, your criticism will fall on deaf ears.work out a business plan together to grow finances , this way there is less room for monetary problems to hit the home.
Conflict is normal: No marriage is without conflicts or disagreements. It’s natural for couples to have differences of opinion and occasional arguments. The key is to learn how to resolve conflicts constructively, with respect and compromise. Avoiding or suppressing conflicts can be detrimental to the relationship.
Emotional and physical intimacy: Intimacy is a vital component of a warm and happy marriage. Emotional connection, support, and affection are essential. Physical intimacy, including sexual compatibility, is also important. It’s crucial for couples to prioritize and nurture their emotional and physical connection.
Marriage evolves over time: A marriage goes through different stages and evolves over time. The initial honeymoon phase may fade, and couples may face new challenges such as career changes, raising children, or dealing with aging parents. Adapting to these changes requires flexibility, patience, and ongoing commitment.
External influences impact marriage: Marriages are influenced by external factors such as work stress, family dynamics, social pressures, and cultural expectations. These external influences can add complexities to a marriage and require open communication and mutual support to navigate.
Remember that these facts don’t guarantee a warm and happy marriage, but they can serve as a guide for couples to consider important aspects of their relationship. It’s essential for couples to work together, seek support when needed, and continuously invest in their relationship to foster warmth and happiness.
QUESTIONS
- What does it mean to be happily married?
- what are the basis and foundation for a warm happy marriage?
- what are the limitations of a warm happy marriage life ?
- what does it take to stay happily married ?
